The most terrible poverty

'The most terrible poverty' : that is how Mother Teresa used to define loneliness. I had pondered over this and have not been able to come up with a more suitable attribute. She also used to say "Give till it hurts". Two very significant statements indeed as, if you think about it rationally, they are opposite sides of the same coin and only we have the power to flip it the way we want. When one climbs towards the top in one's career, one gets a lot of solace and also derives pleasure from the fact that one is essentially lonely at the top. It is an achievement rather than deprivation. Did one feel poor then ? No Sir. Rather, one feels enriched as pride and greed and the trappings of power take precedence over inner wealth, humaneness and the power of giving. 

But the Humpty Dumpty invariably falls. And Jack also falls down with it and breaks his Crown (and Jill comes tumbling after). And then comes loneliness as Jack had moved away from people who cared and rushed through life like an obsessed humbug. He may have mauled the feelings of his fellowmen as he did not consider them to be fit to be his fellowmen anymore. He may have hurt the sentiments of his well wishers as he felt he did not need their wishes anymore. He must have changed his priorities on the way and "usurping" may have taken precedence  over "giving" or even "receiving". He is hardly recognisable anymore as the person his mates knew from before and had become a stranger. Suddenly and mysteriously, he looks for compassion and empathy, all over again. How terribly poor this poor fellow must be ! If only he could at least give recognition to his friends while he was climbing the ladder, he would never have been so poor today. If only he valued human sentiments more than he valued his invaluable time, if only he recognised then that he had a real need for the grounded folks in his life, if only he had spared himself of his selfishness for a few moments every now and then, the world around him would have been entirely different. I have seen this happening to many one-time-close unfortunate people. Life was laughing on their naivety when they thought they were enjoying a real good time and did not need "irritants" from the past to bother them. When they needed those "irritants" back in their lives for company and understanding, they were gone for ever, no where to be found again !       

I still recall that one sultry afternoon in Kolkata, when as a young boy, I saw the Mother in a car that had stopped in a traffic light just next to the tram I was in. As she looked at me with compassion and smiled, acknowledging my folded hands, I felt like never before. For her there were no irritants, no demand greater than humanity, no labour not encompassed with love and no person ever insignificant. We cannot possibly even begin to imagine the dedication, love, compassion, sensitivity, dignity and uprightness that makes Her what she is. She could give so much only with her smile, like she did with me. I was looking at her from a window and so was she. That beatific smile merged the two windows into one vast space of recognition for a young obscure school going teen. I had learned a lesson of a lifetime in that brief  moment of trance. If we could just smile back, our life would never be lonely ever again. Happy Birthday Ma.